D/S LIFESTYLE

Glossary

W/we tried to make the following descriptions of the terms matter of fact without any judgment on O/our parts and using O/our experience. If Y/you feel Y/you can help U/us to have a better description, please feel free to send it to U/us.

Maître Pierre and katy

 

Word
Description
   

24/7

Usually used in the description of a permanent full time relationship (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)

Aftershock

After a long session or play, some submissives may experience effects from their body being used / in shock from the pain. (trembling, feeling of cold)

 

Ball Gag

 

Toy used in BDSM play to prevent a sub from speaking. Mouth pieces are usually made from a rubber ball that is jammed between a submissive teeth and secure in place by a strap or a little string. Could be made of plastic or leather too.

BD
Refer to Bondage and Discipline play (see Bondage)
Blood play
Type of play which involves blood. Considered a fetish.
Bondage
Type of play which uses restraints which could include handscuffs, ropes, shackles etc. Considered a fetish.

 

Bottom

 

 

In a BDSM relationship, the "Bottom" is the same as a the "Submissive" In some more specialized relationships, the "Bottom" is the one who gives up control (For instance, in a pure Sado Masochistic relationship without Domination Submission or Bondage Discipline, the one who receives the pain is the Bottom)

 

BDSM

 

 

 

 

 

 

Name of a lifestyle shared by many people. The word BDSM is a combination of 3 acronyms, BD for Bondage Discipline, DS for Domination and Submission and SM for Sado Masochistic. Considered either like a grave deviance or a and healthy sexual game/orientation by the medical institutions, people who share this lifestyle believe in having a relationship where one of the people by mutually agreed upon conscent is in a position of power/domination (DS) often by using means of bondage discipline (BD) and Sado masochistic (SM) over the other person in this relationship. This relationship could be for a brief moment (a play) or for a longer period of time (permanent relationship)

(click to see article about what is BDSM)

Brown Play
See Scat

Cane

Type of toy used in S&M play. Usually made of flexible material like bamboo. Used for spanking play and designed to be used lightly for real life play.

Clamp (Nipple)

Toy used in S&M play. kind of clamp like clothespin, to pinch areas of the body such as the breast.

Collar

 

 

-A toy made of material, leather or metal, which goes around the neck of the submissive to show his or her belonging to a Dominant. OR....

- Term used in the BDSM to say that someone is "collared" to a dominant (means that the person wearing the collar belongs to a Dominant)

Contract

 

 

 

Agreement usually on paper, between a Dominant and a submissive. Usually the terms of ownership of the submissive, by the Dominant, as well as major limits set by the submissive are outlined in the contract. The Dominant agrees to the terms on the contract and accept to respect them.

(click here to see article about contract)

Crop

 

Toy used in BDSM play and S&M play. Originally, crops were used to control horses. Now commonly used to inflict pain in S&M play and often used to control the submissive in BDSM play.

Cuffs

 

Toys used in bondage play to restrains either arms, wrist, legs or ankle from moving. Could be made of leather or metal

Cyber

Refer to type of play or relationship which is "online" or only through the use of internet. (Some people refer to the usage of phone as "online" too).

Discipline

 

Type of play which uses some form of control on a person by another person, through the use of reward and punishment.

Dom or Dominant

 

Within a BDSM relationship,the person that by mutual conscent is in control of the relationship. Could be a man or a woman

Domination

Type of play use in BDSM play. Play based on controlling a submissive by a Dominant. Considered a fetish.

DS or D/S

Referring to a relationship between a Dominant and submissive

Dungeon

 

Place where S&M play usually takes place. Call "Playroom" too

(click to see article about dungeon)

Endorphin

 

 

 

Hormone secreted by the body, when experiencing pain. The body's natural painkiller. Creates a euphoria effect on the person receiving the pain. It permits that person to receive more pain because endorphin has analgesic effect. When a person is under the influence of endorphins, usually it is said that he or she is in "subspace"

Feminisation

 

Play in BDSM where a man is "changed" in a woman by his Dom. Considered a fetish. May or may not have humiliation as a motive.

Flogger

A type of toy used by S & M people. Whip with many strands, specialized mostly for the buttock area or the breast.

Go Word

 

Like a safe word, a "Go Word" is an OK from the Submissive to go ahead with the play, when there was a stop to a play (usually after a "Safeword" or a "Slow word")

Golden Shower

Type of play which uses urine. Considered a fetish. Call "waterplay" by others

Lifestyle

Set of values according to which, a person lives his or her life. Includes the beliefs that person could have.

Maître

 

Translation for Master in french (Maître Pierre from this website is french Canadian and katy refers to Him as "Maître")

Masochist

 

A person who likes pain and gets sexual excitement/satisfaction from it. There are different kinds of masochists. Some will like any kind of pain and others will only like pain in a sexual context.

Master or Mistress

 

In a BDSM relationship, the dominant person is often referred to as "Master" by His sub, if He is a man. Obviously in the case of a woman, She will be referred as "Mistress"

Munch

 

 

A discreet social gathering of bdsm people, usually in a restaurant,with the people dressed in "regular clothing". People usually exchange tricks and beliefs about the BDSM lifestyle, in a non threatening situation. A great way to meet others in the bdsm lifestyle safely.

Online
See under "Cyber"

Paddle

Type of toy used by S&M people. It is a kind of board, made of different type of material,specially made for spanking.

Pain Slut

 

Man or woman who really likes pain. This what we can call a "real" Masochist. Often referring to an unsafe player who will play indiscreetly. Usually but not always a derogative term.

Play

 

 

Two definitions possible:

-Refers to a scene in BDSM.

-Could be a specialized fetish play (for instance, could be a rope play, or wax play)

Play Room

Room where a BDSM scene, play or session take place. Known as dungeon too.

Real life

 

Refers to actual event in life. Could refer to everyday problems or refer to real life play or relationship, which is not cyber, phone or online.

Restrains

 

Could be anything that prevents free movement of a Submissive. May be rope, cuffs made of leather or metal or anything that prevent someone from moving around.

Rope

Favorite accessory used in bondage. Considered a fetish.

Rope Play

Play using rope, in a bondage play

Safeword

 

 

Means by which a submissive person can tell the dominant person that during a play,that he or she has had enough (pain physical or mental) or has reached his or her limits.

(click to see article about what is a safeword)<

S.A.M.

 

Smart Ass Masochist. Usually a person who by means of "smart talk" puts himself or herself in trouble, to have a punishment from his or her "Master". A derogatory term.

Sadist

 

Person who likes to inflict pain on others and gets sexual excitement from it. There are different type of sadists. Beware, not to confuse a bdsm enthusiast with a person who just wants to beat someone else in a non consensual setting... such as a wife beater.

Scat

Type of play which uses excrement. Also called brown play. Consider a fetish by some. Called "shit play" by some others.

Scene

 

Two definitions possible:

- The BDSM "scene": or belonging to the BDSM world.

- A BDSM scene : refers to a BDSM session.

Session

Another word for session is a "play" or "a scene". A "session" could be 10 minutes long to many days.

Slave

 

 

Some consider a slave to be exactly like a submissive and others consider a slave more extreme in his or her submissivness. There is a lot of interpretation about this word in the BDSM lifestyle. Many who call themselves slave are in reality less submissive than others who call themselves subs.

Slow Words

Like a "Safe Word", the "Slow Word" is used to slow a game when the Submissive is near his or her "limits"

SM or S & M

(Sado Masochistic) Type of play which uses pain. Considered a fetish. Part of the BDSM lifestyle.

Spanking

Type of S&M play where pain is being applied to a subs body (usually the ass) by the use of either the hands or any kind of toys

Spanking bench

A little bench used for restraining and bringing the submissive at the right position and height for spanking play

Spreader Bar

A bar of any kind of material (usually wood or metal) used to keep two body part (legs or wrist) away from each other. Used in bondage play.

St-Andrews Cross

A type of cross, usually in the shape of an X, used for bondage purposes.

Sub or Submissive

Within a BDSM relationship, person which by mutual conscent, gives up the power/control. Could be a man or a woman

Submission

Type of play used in BDSM play. Play based on being controlled by a a Dominant. Considered a fetish.

Sub Space

 

Stupor cause by the rush of endorphins (the body's natural pain killer) in the brain when pain is being applied. The concept of subspace is often misunderstood as a purely mental and not physical/mental condition in the BDSM lifestyle.

Switch

 

A person who plays both "sides" in the BDSM lifestyle. This person, according to his or her own belief and values, will choose to be either Dominant or Submissive in different plays. The concept of "Switch" is contested in by part of the BDSM community.

Top

 

 

In a BDSM relationship, the "Top" is the same as a the "Dominant" In some more specialize relationship, the "Top" is the one in control (For instance, in a pure Sado Masochistic relationship without Domination Submission or Bondage Discipline, the one who give the pain is the Top)

Toy

Prop or accessory used for play

TG or Transgender

See TS

TS or Transexual

Usually a person that consider that he or she was born the wrong gender. Many correct that by having a sex change operation

TV or Transvestite

Usually man who like to dress as a woman. Consider a fetish by some.

Vanilla

When talking about "regular" people not into the lifestyle.
Water Play

See "Golden Shower"

Wax Play
Play using wax. Very popular in BDSM play.

Whip

 

Well known toy used by S & M enthusiasts. There are many types of whips. The ones used by players are mostly single or double stands ones.Whips can permanently hurt (damage) the person at the receiving end and must be used with caution..

   

THE BDSM CIRCLE / LE CERCLE BDSM 2003