W/we tried to make the following descriptions of the terms matter of fact without any judgment on O/our parts and using O/our experience. If Y/you feel Y/you can help U/us to have a better description, please feel free to send it to U/us.

Maître Pierre and katy




Usually used in the description of a permanent full time relationship (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)


After a long session or play, some submissives may experience effects from their body being used / in shock from the pain. (trembling, feeling of cold)


Ball Gag


Toy used in BDSM play to prevent a sub from speaking. Mouth pieces are usually made from a rubber ball that is jammed between a submissive teeth and secure in place by a strap or a little string. Could be made of plastic or leather too.

Refer to Bondage and Discipline play (see Bondage)
Blood play
Type of play which involves blood. Considered a fetish.
Type of play which uses restraints which could include handscuffs, ropes, shackles etc. Considered a fetish.





In a BDSM relationship, the "Bottom" is the same as a the "Submissive" In some more specialized relationships, the "Bottom" is the one who gives up control (For instance, in a pure Sado Masochistic relationship without Domination Submission or Bondage Discipline, the one who receives the pain is the Bottom)









Name of a lifestyle shared by many people. The word BDSM is a combination of 3 acronyms, BD for Bondage Discipline, DS for Domination and Submission and SM for Sado Masochistic. Considered either like a grave deviance or a and healthy sexual game/orientation by the medical institutions, people who share this lifestyle believe in having a relationship where one of the people by mutually agreed upon conscent is in a position of power/domination (DS) often by using means of bondage discipline (BD) and Sado masochistic (SM) over the other person in this relationship. This relationship could be for a brief moment (a play) or for a longer period of time (permanent relationship)

(click to see article about what is BDSM)

Brown Play
See Scat


Type of toy used in S&M play. Usually made of flexible material like bamboo. Used for spanking play and designed to be used lightly for real life play.

Clamp (Nipple)

Toy used in S&M play. kind of clamp like clothespin, to pinch areas of the body such as the breast.




-A toy made of material, leather or metal, which goes around the neck of the submissive to show his or her belonging to a Dominant. OR....

- Term used in the BDSM to say that someone is "collared" to a dominant (means that the person wearing the collar belongs to a Dominant)





Agreement usually on paper, between a Dominant and a submissive. Usually the terms of ownership of the submissive, by the Dominant, as well as major limits set by the submissive are outlined in the contract. The Dominant agrees to the terms on the contract and accept to respect them.

(click here to see article about contract)



Toy used in BDSM play and S&M play. Originally, crops were used to control horses. Now commonly used to inflict pain in S&M play and often used to control the submissive in BDSM play.



Toys used in bondage play to restrains either arms, wrist, legs or ankle from moving. Could be made of leather or metal


Refer to type of play or relationship which is "online" or only through the use of internet. (Some people refer to the usage of phone as "online" too).



Type of play which uses some form of control on a person by another person, through the use of reward and punishment.

Dom or Dominant


Within a BDSM relationship,the person that by mutual conscent is in control of the relationship. Could be a man or a woman


Type of play use in BDSM play. Play based on controlling a submissive by a Dominant. Considered a fetish.

DS or D/S

Referring to a relationship between a Dominant and submissive



Place where S&M play usually takes place. Call "Playroom" too

(click to see article about dungeon)





Hormone secreted by the body, when experiencing pain. The body's natural painkiller. Creates a euphoria effect on the person receiving the pain. It permits that person to receive more pain because endorphin has analgesic effect. When a person is under the influence of endorphins, usually it is said that he or she is in "subspace"



Play in BDSM where a man is "changed" in a woman by his Dom. Considered a fetish. May or may not have humiliation as a motive.


A type of toy used by S & M people. Whip with many strands, specialized mostly for the buttock area or the breast.

Go Word


Like a safe word, a "Go Word" is an OK from the Submissive to go ahead with the play, when there was a stop to a play (usually after a "Safeword" or a "Slow word")

Golden Shower

Type of play which uses urine. Considered a fetish. Call "waterplay" by others


Set of values according to which, a person lives his or her life. Includes the beliefs that person could have.



Translation for Master in french (Maître Pierre from this website is french Canadian and katy refers to Him as "Maître")



A person who likes pain and gets sexual excitement/satisfaction from it. There are different kinds of masochists. Some will like any kind of pain and others will only like pain in a sexual context.

Master or Mistress


In a BDSM relationship, the dominant person is often referred to as "Master" by His sub, if He is a man. Obviously in the case of a woman, She will be referred as "Mistress"




A discreet social gathering of bdsm people, usually in a restaurant,with the people dressed in "regular clothing". People usually exchange tricks and beliefs about the BDSM lifestyle, in a non threatening situation. A great way to meet others in the bdsm lifestyle safely.

See under "Cyber"


Type of toy used by S&M people. It is a kind of board, made of different type of material,specially made for spanking.

Pain Slut


Man or woman who really likes pain. This what we can call a "real" Masochist. Often referring to an unsafe player who will play indiscreetly. Usually but not always a derogative term.




Two definitions possible:

-Refers to a scene in BDSM.

-Could be a specialized fetish play (for instance, could be a rope play, or wax play)

Play Room

Room where a BDSM scene, play or session take place. Known as dungeon too.

Real life


Refers to actual event in life. Could refer to everyday problems or refer to real life play or relationship, which is not cyber, phone or online.



Could be anything that prevents free movement of a Submissive. May be rope, cuffs made of leather or metal or anything that prevent someone from moving around.


Favorite accessory used in bondage. Considered a fetish.

Rope Play

Play using rope, in a bondage play




Means by which a submissive person can tell the dominant person that during a play,that he or she has had enough (pain physical or mental) or has reached his or her limits.

(click to see article about what is a safeword)<



Smart Ass Masochist. Usually a person who by means of "smart talk" puts himself or herself in trouble, to have a punishment from his or her "Master". A derogatory term.



Person who likes to inflict pain on others and gets sexual excitement from it. There are different type of sadists. Beware, not to confuse a bdsm enthusiast with a person who just wants to beat someone else in a non consensual setting... such as a wife beater.


Type of play which uses excrement. Also called brown play. Consider a fetish by some. Called "shit play" by some others.



Two definitions possible:

- The BDSM "scene": or belonging to the BDSM world.

- A BDSM scene : refers to a BDSM session.


Another word for session is a "play" or "a scene". A "session" could be 10 minutes long to many days.




Some consider a slave to be exactly like a submissive and others consider a slave more extreme in his or her submissivness. There is a lot of interpretation about this word in the BDSM lifestyle. Many who call themselves slave are in reality less submissive than others who call themselves subs.

Slow Words

Like a "Safe Word", the "Slow Word" is used to slow a game when the Submissive is near his or her "limits"

SM or S & M

(Sado Masochistic) Type of play which uses pain. Considered a fetish. Part of the BDSM lifestyle.


Type of S&M play where pain is being applied to a subs body (usually the ass) by the use of either the hands or any kind of toys

Spanking bench

A little bench used for restraining and bringing the submissive at the right position and height for spanking play

Spreader Bar

A bar of any kind of material (usually wood or metal) used to keep two body part (legs or wrist) away from each other. Used in bondage play.

St-Andrews Cross

A type of cross, usually in the shape of an X, used for bondage purposes.

Sub or Submissive

Within a BDSM relationship, person which by mutual conscent, gives up the power/control. Could be a man or a woman


Type of play used in BDSM play. Play based on being controlled by a a Dominant. Considered a fetish.

Sub Space


Stupor cause by the rush of endorphins (the body's natural pain killer) in the brain when pain is being applied. The concept of subspace is often misunderstood as a purely mental and not physical/mental condition in the BDSM lifestyle.



A person who plays both "sides" in the BDSM lifestyle. This person, according to his or her own belief and values, will choose to be either Dominant or Submissive in different plays. The concept of "Switch" is contested in by part of the BDSM community.




In a BDSM relationship, the "Top" is the same as a the "Dominant" In some more specialize relationship, the "Top" is the one in control (For instance, in a pure Sado Masochistic relationship without Domination Submission or Bondage Discipline, the one who give the pain is the Top)


Prop or accessory used for play

TG or Transgender

See TS

TS or Transexual

Usually a person that consider that he or she was born the wrong gender. Many correct that by having a sex change operation

TV or Transvestite

Usually man who like to dress as a woman. Consider a fetish by some.


When talking about "regular" people not into the lifestyle.
Water Play

See "Golden Shower"

Wax Play
Play using wax. Very popular in BDSM play.



Well known toy used by S & M enthusiasts. There are many types of whips. The ones used by players are mostly single or double stands ones.Whips can permanently hurt (damage) the person at the receiving end and must be used with caution..