BDSM is an ever growing society. Even today, there are some well established groups that publically hold conventions and gatherings for others with the same interests. But there are even more out there that are part of the "younger generation." These young people, including myself, have been drawn in for many reasons.
The young people can be drawn in by many means. One is through the internet itself. Let's face it, teens get bored and randomly search for things via Google. I admit to doing this as well. These younger people see something like BDSM and see that in some minor way, it relates to them. The only problem is a good portion of them don't read on to see what its like, or do more research by looking up people who are actually in the lifestyle. They toss themselves in, head first, and end up doing some really stupid things.
Another mean of drawing in the younger crowd is by just hearing a friend or some older person talk about it. That's how I was drawn into the community. But I wasn't like some of the others, I did my research to find out specifically what I would like and to specifically know what I was getting into. The only real problem is that someone who does this, might be pulled in by a desperate Dom seeking a new sub for their control. This Dom (which everyone knows exists so don't deny it) makes BDSM sound like its perfect for the person then just makes the subs life a living hell.
This hasn't been a problem for me. I was drawn in when an online gaming friend of mine got asked why he always capitalized things like me and my. I immediately went to his defense and he later told me he was into BDSM. I was a curious 18 year old so I looked up the wiki and a few other sites and found that it actually somewhat help define who I was. Sure, I have some training to do about taking orders but it still helps me define who I am and what I'm like. I don't mind being in this lifestyle at all. The only bad thing really is that I can't vocalize exactly what I am for fear of ridicule. But I still am glad to have found it.
That is just one story from a younger generation person. I have one other story. This one is derived straight from my very own Master.
"I discovered BDSM when I was 18 or 19. My girlfriend at the time would always defer to me for any decisions, always wanted to do things for me, and I naturally assumed the role of a Dom. As we started getting more involved in this, we decided to research and find out more about BDSM. The first, and most important thing I learned was that even though a lot of people are in BDSM relationships or lifestyles, every situation is unique. What works for one couple may not work for another. You can break that down even further and say that one person's style may not suit another."
I agree with what my Master has said. I am different because being a slave has made life for me so much easier. I turn to my Master for most decisions but he does allow me to make decisions of my own. And that's what I want. We both made sure to do our research before making the plunge into something that could potentially harm us, both mentally and physically. I live this life because its who I am and being a slave is only part of it. I am happy to wear the collar that's around my neck and have his ring on my left hand.
In conclusion, the younger generation is starting to find BDSM interesting. A portion of them will most likely see or hear something about it then just plunge right in. Others, like my Master and myself, will do research on not only themselves but the Dom as well. Here are a few other words from my Master.
"The problem comes in when two incompatible styles get too far into things. A submissive who does not enjoy pain will not like being with a sadistic Dominant. There's nothing wrong with either one, but a lot of times I've seen that the submissive will still stay with their Dom because they feel like they have to. This leads to abuse and a very unhappy situation."
However, there is also a learning period that must take place, and this is where the generation gap comes into play. Those of experience have likely been around BDSM for a long time. They know who they are, what they like and dislike, and what they're looking for. They know that if they find a Dom that does not suit them, that they can simply end things amiably and move on in their search. Most in the younger generation seem to feel that if they find a Dom they have to be with them no matter what. They have no idea what they want or what they're getting into, they just feel that as a sub they need to stay with their Dom "just because it's BDSM."
What is above is just a further explanation of what happens sometimes when someone who doesn't do any real research. Like I've said before, I felt smart when I did research on not only the lifestyle itself but my Master. And I couldn't have been happier with the results.
This is just an opinion of a Master and his slave. And below is a message for any younger generation practitioners.
As a message to those of the younger generation: Shop around. Do your research about not only BDSM, but your potential Dom. Find out as much as you can before you make that commitment. Find out what you like and dislike, and find that Dom that suits you. You'll know when you find it. My Traci certainly knew when she found me. :)
Traci Cournoyer and Master Wolfy
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