We've been out of the public scene for a while now; my health not permitting us to attend to BDSM events. Actually, we do go to BDSM events, but they are usually private events where we are invited by friends.

Yet, this situation of us being "on the side lines" give us an amazing opportunity to observe the BDSM crowd from afar.

In Montreal, it is interesting to see the "values" that the BDSM crowd have. I should tell you that since about a year, there are many new faces in the public BDSM scene. Many new organisations of fetish events have appeared in Montreal. A few years ago, you could count munches in a year with one hand. A while ago, I was wondering if Catharine and I should organise a munch like we use to do a few years ago; well, I could not find a single week without a munch organised by a group. Just think, we used to organise nunches because nobody else did!!!!!!

We will start to attend some of these new munches soon, and for once, just be there as a guest!!!!!

But what is really weird and funny about the values of the new crowd is the fact that……..when I was new in the public lifestyle, we had the same values!!!!!!

This "new" waves of BDSM'ers have the same worries that we had years ago. Discussions about what are the "real" players, the ones who play the hardest, the most submissive ones, what is a real BDSM relationship 24/7…..and I could go on!

When I first started in the lifestyle, I didn't really want to learn the lesson from the older players because, and you may have guest it; I didn't need any lesson from anyone!!!!! Of course, the more I have learn about BDSM and the more I have learn that I don't know squat, which is why I am so interested to see how inventive players (original players) do their stuff! To be honest, I have played hard, I have done things in ways that I consider "real", I had some of the most submissive partner that I had ever known and I have learn from this that, in the past, before me, others had played hard if not harder, they where more "real" in a era that didn't allow people to be "different" in life, so they had to be secret about their passion for S&M and submission (The term BDSM was not invented at the time). As for submissiveness, yes, there was some amazing submissive at the time too!

Now, in the new wave of BDSM'ers, they play hard, they are trying to be real and more submissive and they do there own thing and they do not listen to older players, well, like us! What is really sad now is to discover…..that we are part of the "older" crowd…..(sigh!)

I like to use "waves" to describe the new players. It seem that every year and a half, there are new people and they do come like a wave; for a while, you see nobody new and then, all at the same time, many new faces. You will see them in BDSM events for a while and then, they are going to disappear, like a wave pulling back, leaving just a few people that will become themselves, fixtures in BDSM partys, like we were for years, before my sickness.

Those who disappears usually do for, the same reasons they have disappears in the past; they have found a partner and now the do their thing by themselves, they haven't found a partner and they quit, disappointed or they quit because they went through a horror story.

It seems that through the years, society changes, fashion and mean of communication changes. Before the internet, people used phone lines and ads in specialized magazines to find partners and now we see more and more mobile technology being part of the communication mode for people to communicate with other fetishists.

The sad part about this is……even with the new technologies, people do the same mistake that we, the older did and of course, in a few years, newcomer will do the same mistakes. People in BDSM are stubborn. But, is it sad, really? Because of the fact that people in BDSM are stubborn, this is how many do survive in the BDSM jungle, and if you think about it, this is how the "older" players kept our lifestyle alive!……..

But must we always do the same mistake over and over and over……like a wave rolling on the beach, the same way, the same mistakes, never learning from he past……? Doesn't BDSM, like anything else in life, should progress, and yet, beside the technology, BDSM seems to be in the same state that it was 20 or 40 years ago!

Must we do the same mistakes again and again?
Must the BDSM lifestyle remain the same, unchanged?

Maître Pierre