Another bad night for katy. That morning, she awoke with pain in all her joints. She had to use all of her will, just to make herself sit on the bed. She passes a hand on her hair, to find that it is a mess. Rubbing her eyes, she tries to remember her dream, the same one, she has been having for a while now.

She opens her eyes. Then, she tries to find her underwear, because she always slept naked habit gained from previous training…

"Where the hell, is my necklace?" she thought.

When she doesn't have a collar to wear, she needs something to replace it, a need she has, since many years. Looking around, she cannot find it. She knows she will have to use a lot of energy to look for it….like always. She always put her necklace, on the small table by her bed, but, it always disappears, and she knows, it is not the cats, who took it. She cannot stop herself from cursing, when she thinks about the reason, why it disappears.

She knows too damn well why.

Putting her underwear on, and a night robe on her shoulder, she makes sure to be careful, not to awaken her roommate. She goes in the kitchen, she really needs a coffee this morning.. She opens the pantry and with her hand, goes to grab the coffee can, then, noticing something funny on the can, she freezes. On the coffee can, a can from a well-known chain of coffee shops, is the necklace.

She can't stop herself from sighing.

Slowly, she reaches for the necklace, and grabs it. Then she looks at it for an instant, and almost with a discouraged pout, she places the necklace on her neck. Then, she proceeds to make herself a nice cup of a very strong coffee.

Now that she has her well-needed caffeine, she sits down at the table, and she leans her head on her hands, her elbows on the table. At the same time, the sleep is going out of her, the memories start coming in. Remembering her past, she feels her heart sink.

She remembers when her previous master was alive. How much she loved him. How she was happy to serve him. She had been so happy, for so long, with him. She started to feel her throat get tighter, when she remembers how the downfall started for her. How she lost her master to drugs, and then, when he died. Some rumourmongers had said that he died from an overdose of drugs. She didn't know how he died. But she knew why he did.

She always knew, it would happen. Like she always knew all the tragedy that would happen in the life of her friends and family. She hated it. Some called it a gift, she called it a curse. She didn't want to know these things. She never asked for this. But, she had had to live all her life with this. She tried everything, to get rid of this curse, but nothing worked. She remembered how, when she discovered that curse about her, her grandmother being so sad for her. She remembers distinctly, how her granny, had took her in her arms, and said to her;

"Poor child, not you too!"

"Yes!" she thought, "me too, granny!".

Since then, her granny had died, like her mother, like her father.

She always knew when it would happen.

But, that was before, she became submissive.

Now, in her thirty's, she was still a beautiful woman. Yes, the time had done its mark on her, but, many men would turn their heads at her, when she was walking on the sidewalk. She knew she was beautiful. She was always well dressed, being able to put herself on her best, ability very useful, to meet people, and get jobs…and meet doms!!!

She had discovered the lifestyle many many years ago. She was in her early twenty's when she found out about something called "BDSM". She had discovered it, from an old acquaintance. Being a very sexual person, she was, at that time, very curious about all aspects of sex, so, it's with a lot of curiosity, she had tried these new sexual games. She had been very surprise, to find out, that she liked these games. But, she had been more surprised, when she found out, that, when she was submissive, her curse was a lot less a problem.

Yes! She had realised, that, when she is submissive to a Dom, and when that Dom, has control over her life, her curse almost disappeared. With the years, she had realised that if someone else had control over her life, she can control and almost get ride of the curse.

Many years ago, she had decided to become a submissive for the rest of her life, because, the BDSM lifestyle, was a solution to her problems, and, well, she had a little more problems to admit it but the BDSM games were, kind of…nice! Even today, she has problems, to admit that she really loves to be bound and spank…But she does!

She takes another sip of her coffee. Yes, the strong coffee is helping her to awake, and regain her alertness. She needs, to be at her best, even now, the spirits around her are not leaving her any rest. She always has to be at the ready when they are around her. Like this morning, again, they made her necklace disappeared. Lowering her eyes in her coffee, she remembers….

For many years, she had been happy with this master. Having him, control her life had solved her problems. Well, almost solve them. Sometimes, things would happen, but, she would quickly erase the effect of these, or just ignore them, but, before her master died, things had been going downhill. After many years, she was no longer able to hide to her master, things like this, he knew her too well, and even he started to notice some strange things.

She remembered how angry at her, he would be, when, he realised that, she would see spirits in the same room where they were, and how sometimes, because of his anger, the BDSM games would simply turn to a beating for her. She remembers how he started to do drugs, to get away from this reality of her. He didn't want to know. He was at that time, living through his own curse. A curse of having for a sub, a lady who could see and deal with spirits.

It killed him.

She remembers, when he died, how she could no longer be in then same city where she had lived with him so many years. Even, when she moved to another city, far from her old place, it was still too close to him. So, one day, tired of everything, she packed two suitcase with her clothing, and had just left, leaving the few things she had, her jobs, her friends. She had moved all the way from British Columbia, on the West Coast of Canada to almost the end of Canada, in the city of Montreal, part of the province of Quebec, three thousand miles away.

She was now, a stranger, her, being English speaking, in this French speaking town, and loving it! An old boyfriend of one of her submissive friends had given her a place to stay. She was now, his roommate. He too, was part of the lifestyle.

After being in this town for a few months now, she knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life here. She had adopted Montreal, as her city now. All she needed to do, was to find her own place to stay; a job; and yes, a new Master! Caressing her neck, touching the necklace, she realised how much, she wanted and needed a Master.

She needed the gift of domination!

©THE BDSM CIRCLE 2001