The First Play

You have found that marvelous partner. You have met him or her and you think that you want that relationship to go further. You think that you trust him or her. Well the next step is....

The first play!

Don't make the mistake of thinking that now a basic trust is established between you that you are homefree! BIG MISTAKE! It happens often that a Dom, male or female, despite prior negotiations with a sub, will make such a big mistake in the first play that the sub will swear to NEVER be with that Dom again!

Both Pierre and Catharine have had their experiences about bad first play! What can go wrong you ask? Well...Everything!

Some Doms (male or female) look good on cyber and in words but when they play for real with a sub, it show that they are only that.....words. Remember the old expression "Put your money where your mouth is!" In BDSM it is very true! (By the way, many subs too have the same problem)

In this website, we go to great length to show the reader that cyber play is VERY different from Real Play! Many players who try to bluff their way into their first play by saying that they are experienced will fail miserably in their actual first play. Usually to do so will make you lose that prospect that you worked so hard to get, because that prospect was told that you were experienced and they understand that you are not, they understand that you lied to them and boom, there goes the trust.

Honesty is the key!

For that first play make sure that they are no surprises. Yes surprises can be fun, but keep them for later! Discuss all the details of that first play. With this discussion, the Dom(me) will learn about some of the physical limits of the sub. The first play is really important, even when kept simple. It is used to discover each other. Both players are going to see if they were told lies or not. If for the first play, the Dom(me) tries to do elaborate rope work and fails miserably, He(she) will be judged by the sub as an idiot. Make sure that the first play stays within things that you are both comfortable. This is not a time for a Dom(me) to push his or her subs and all activities should be ones that the Dom(me) is already skilled at.

Don't try to push the sub to go over his or her limits in the first play. To push limits involves a great deal of trust and knowledge of the sub limits.

Just remember this; the first play is the play where the sub, after much negotiation, will trust the Dom(me) for the first time to surrender to him or her. It is not a decision that the sub will take lightly, because, once she or he is bound, there is nothing that she or he can do about it. If the Dom(me) is not what he or she claims to be, the sub's safety will be jeopardize.

The first play IS very important. Do it well and there will be many more with that sub. Make a mistake and you are finished with that sub.

Remember, be safe, logical and consensual and mostly, have fun!