D/S LIFESTYLE

As far as I can remember, I have always been attracted by the variety of styles and fabrics women can wear, compared to the relative drabness of menswear. In today's society, it is much more acceptable for a woman to wear satin, silk, or spandex, than it is for a man. Color is also a factor. Let a man wear pastels all over, not just as an accent, and most people will assume (wrongly and unfortunately) that he is gay.

Then, in 1996, I almost lost my life in a work-related accident that stopped all my activities for six months. I took that time to think hard about myself, what point my life was at, what I wanted to do with my life, and where I wanted to go. It was at that time that I decided not to live with the regret of not experiencing something, whether it be a food or an activity. I would try it; I would like it, or not; but I would know. I also found out that I did not care anymore what society thought of me; I would be me, nothing more, nothing less; what you see is what you get. I deceded to be honest with myself, and open towards others. I was (and still am) ready to deal with the consequences of my actions as they would occur.

I first became a crossdresser : a person who wears the clothing of the opposite gender. The world of fetish clothing quickly caught my eye, with its shiny, shimmering fabrics, restricting or revealing styles, and elegant or funky shoes. I was also led to believe, and rightly so, that the fetish community, as a whole, would accept me as I am, without judging me (except perhaps on the beauty of my clothing).

I began attending fetish parties. I met many people and made new friends, one of whom is an amateur photographer. We arranged a photo session and, as I had recently purchased a wig, we asked one of his girl friends to make me up, just for fun. A few days later, when I saw the pictures, I was stunned! I had trouble recognizing myself : the arched eyebrows; the long (false) eyelashes; the small (corsetted) waist; the long, long legs atop the high, high heels; the black PVC outfit, complete with gloves; everything (except the chest) spoke of an elegant, mature woman.

I decided to take the step from crossdresser to transvestite. I bought breast forms, the same as those used by women who have had a mastectomy (removal of a breast), and a special bra to put them in. I began to observe and mimic female mannerisms : how to sit, how to stand, how to walk, the small gestures of the hand when speaking, all those small things that make a woman feminine. Sabine was born! I still have a lot of work to be able to " pass " in a vanilla setting, but I practice regularly, and I am making progress.

The decision to accept myself also had an unexpected aftereffect. Only two years after making the decision to accept myself as I am, family and friends began to tell me that I looked better, that I seemed to be happier and more at ease with myself, that I was not as shy as I used to be and more attentionate towards others. Because of this, because of the new friends I made, and because of the new horizons I discovered, I can honestly say I have absolutely no regrets.