For many years, we've been doing research about BDSM. Catharine, has the most wonderful sense in being able to find amazing old books that explain the many aspects of BDSM. Her latest treasure "The Whip and The Rod", first published in 1941, is one good example.

Over the years and with all our searching, both on and off the net, from discussions, meetings, searches in librairies (and so on), we have never found a BDSM "Bible", or to be more precise, a book that we consider "THE Handbook" about how to deal with a BDSM relationship or that gives the answers to ALL the problems that may be found in a BDSM relationship.

Yes, there are many wonderful "how to" books out there, many of them with great advice for BDSM relationships, but most books that are available offer primarily the personal approch of the authors. The fact that there are so many "how to" books in BDSM is a sign about the importance of the personal approach in BDSM.

The content of our website reflects the same situation; you can read about our own personal approach, safety issues that are important to us and the desire to make people think and reflect about their own needs of BDSM. It would be so easy just to say, "Follow ALL the 345 rules of our website and you will have a perfect BDSM relationship." Claiming something like this would be to actually say "Here are 345 ways to fuck up your own BDSM relationship!".

BDSM is personal. Your BDSM needs are not the same as those of your neighbour, so the way you will do it will be different. Unless you are unsafe (remember the SSC) your way is the PERFECT way for you and it is NOT open for discussion. Yes, SSC, negociation, respecting limits, finding the right partner for you, playing safe (physicaly and mentally) are all important. But the actual way you do it, the fact you like this kind of flogger and not that kind, that you may like latex, not leather - all this is personal.

As you know, we have done interviews on television and, in a couple of these interviews, we said to the interviever that BDSM is all about freedom.

Think about it!

• Freedom of BDSM: The freedom to do your own BDSM and not be judged
• Freedom in BDSM: The freedom to do your BDSM the way you like it within the community without being judged by other BDSM people.
• Freedom from the BDSM: many submissives want somebody else to be in charge of their life, sometimes for a couple of hours and sometimes forever (24/7 relationship).

I said earlier that there are no BDSM "bibles" out there. The way you practice or live BDSM is your own.

In public, the BDSM plays that I like to watch are the ones that are different and personal. I have seen so many flogging scenes, that now, it is very hard to impress me with flogging - unless you are different and you do your own thing safely.

Do you flog your sub (or are flogged) like everybody else in your community? Do you use the same rope in the same type of bondage like everybody else? Or are you a free person and try to explore your own ways?

I know of people quitting BDSM because "they have seen and done it all!" I have seen many different plays, and, sometimes I see a play that is very different and very beautiful, done by safe people. I love to watch free people play because thay always show me something new!

What are free people? "people who do their ownn thing with respect and safety in minds, and who don't simply do what the community expects them to do!"

Why do I love free people? They teach me so much each time I look at their play.

BDSM is obviously about a need that we share, but for me, BDSM is not about freedom because - BDSM IS freedom!

How free are you?

Maître Pierre