Letter To Sir Paul.


Paul, I was just informed about your sudden death. A friend, to whom I owe many thanks, having informed me late, having himself learned about it in the Montreal Gay newspaper "Fugue"

I was surprised, I must admit.

Since my own sickness, Catharine and I have not been very social lately, meaning that we would not meet in BDSM events like we used to do before. Yet, despite our lack of socializing, you and I were having this exchange of emails that was giving us all a chance to keep in contact and permitting us all to share news about our lives.

Lately, you made huge changes on your French speaking website "Le Dôm-Ms". In these changes, you had installed a blog where you shared some of your opinions. Reading these, I could not refrain to smile, when I recognized the "fire in you". After reading your opinions, I had sent you a long email to you, telling you what I thought of this new turn of your website, email that you paste and copied in it's totality on your blog, telling us, when time would permit, you would answer us. Alas, time was not on your side……

In this email I sent you, I mention about this duality in you, duality that, I think, was from this fire that burned within' you, making you who you were….

The memory that I will have from you will always be of you laughing and smiling. The picture of you and Catharine that I am attaching to this, shows you clearly, like this little boy that could be amazed by simple things and yet, often I could see in your eyes this blackness and this pain that was you…..this duality I figured….


One of the gifts you left me was the story of your life, your struggle as a Gay man, your adventure that was not always glamorous. You often referred to these ghosts that surrounded you in your life, these ghosts being the people you had loved and lost from life's events. You wanted to pay tribute to these ghosts in a book you were working on. I guess we will never see this book, sadly…..

Paul, thanks to you, you gave us the opportunity to meet wonderful and amazing people. All the Ryans, Dennis, Michels and many others that I forgot have found a way to win our affection by their ways of respects and there generosities.

We already, Paul, miss the way you used to speak, words full of flowers, Your "artistic" way of doing BDSM too is going to be missed….

You and I had a relationship based on a long discussion that started years ago, discussion we never finished. We had very different opinions about things and yet, many of these opinions would be so similar in other situations…..

I often refer to "The legend of Paul" and each time I would do that, I would make you mad at me. I do hope that today, you know what I met.

In your lifetime, you made many enemies because of your ways and believes. But I think that because of the way you were, you made a lot more friends and admirers.

You did change our lives. You made us a bit wiser and probably a lot more cynical about life, yes, it is a good thing. Thank you for this.

You are now with the ones you loved. Find this happiness that you were searching for my friend. Received our love and admiration. Me and Catharine will miss you. Paul, to me, you will always be this "legend of Sir Paul" and a friend.

With respect.

Master Pierre and Mistress Catharine, friends and fans.

P.S, Many thanks to René.