What Makes A Better Sub?

by Mistress Catharine /katy

What makes a good sub is not the same thing to everybody.. but I will state that how much pain a sub can take or how much of a masochist a sub is does not rank the sub. Unfortunately this is the thinking of many people. To this I say.. give me a break. Now I happen to be fairly extreme on the pain side (and no.. I am not a pain slut.. and only enjoy pain in a bdsm situation).. my breasts are somewhat less tough than my butt for sure.. my butt having been on the receiving end of paddle, whip and flogger many times, there is a resistance or hardiness that builds up. So what? Again.. does this make me a better sub.. nope. If anything it just means my Maitre has to work harder and give more strokes to have the same effect on me as He would on another sub.

I am not a brat.. and does this make me a better sub than others.. well.. maybeÖ but that is just my opinion. Yes I can be playful, but do I try and stir up trouble? Nope. But then Maitre and I have a philosophy on spankings which is not shared by many in the bdsm community. I donít ever get a spanking for punishment! (spankings are used in our relationship for rewards instead J ) Since I thoroughly enjoy spankings this is a very good thing.. and there is never the incentive for me to "act up" or be a brat. Recently there was a good example of this kind of behavior.. Maitre and I were at a bdsm gathering.. and a sub got mouthy..and made a smart ass comment concerning the difference of years in bdsm experience between myself and Maitre.. alluding that Maitre was somehow inadequate because of it. Why did she make such a rude and classless comment? Because she hoped it would get back to her Master and she would be punished! How very sad she did not realize how unattractive rudeness is and how badly this reflected upon her Master. Darn shame she could not have just been able to ask for a spanking sweetly like I do with my Maitre (not that I always get it precisely when I ask!!)

Another way subs tend to be judged is by how wide their bdsm tastes are. Puhleeese.. not everyone shares the same tastes. Some people only like the d/s side, others like more the sado-masochism side.. and others just like bondage. Anything wrong with that.. of course not. I have pretty wide tastes. Why? Probably because I have been doing forms of bdsm for a long time. Naturally your tastes expand or become more refined over time. But.. no matter how long I am a sub.. I am not going to like scat (shit), nor am I going to suddenly find it sexy.. does it make me less of a sub than one who does like it.. or them less than me because they do.? Nope!

So far I have been doing a lot of talking about what does not make a good sub, so.. what does make a good one.? Or even a better one? Well to me this is an intensely individual thing.. but I would say that being comfortable with your own desires, kinks and body is a darn good start. I know many are reading this thinking.. boy.. I have not even heard one thing yet about pleasing your master.. what the hell is up with that.. ? Simple, I donít believe you can truly please your master to the best of your ability unless you are comfortable with your own desires, kinks and body. Also.. unless you know these things about yourself you are in a very poor position to choose a master who is a "good fit". And without a doubt you will be a better sub if you have a master who is well suited to you.

Again.. the previous is MY opinion.. and I know lots will argue and I will receive scathing emails! (My guess is lots from the "I can take 350 lashes and am the toughest and best sub around" type subs)(too funny!) And I will get emails from Masters who think any sub should be thrilled to have them as a master.. and that subs donít need a "well suited" master.. (sighs).. but folks this is real life bdsm I am talking about here.. and tastes are tastes.. hard limits are hard limitsÖ

I guess when reading this you can tell I have a pretty high opinion of myself. Yup, sure do.. I am comfortable with my desires, kinks and body, (not that I think my body perfect.. but I like it and feel sexy..although I am always trying to work on making my belly smaller!) I am a good sub.. and.. luckily I have a Maitre that is extremely well suited for me.. and that makes me a better sub!

katy, submissive to Maître Pierre