D/S LIFESTYLE

We've hosted a couple of them and attended one, hosted by Maitre Pierre and Mistress Catharine earlier this year. Since we've been asked questions about how and what, I thought I'd try my hand at putting some of the "dos" and perhaps "don'ts" to paper.

Having said that, there are several schools of thought on exactly how to hold a 'formal dinner'. Like everything in our lifestyle, there's no one size fits all, and no hard and fast rules. However, there are some 'basics' that you should know if you're planning to host one.

One such basic is how to set a table. There are many different ways to set a table. I'm going to share a few of them here. We'll start with the basic, simple setting and move on to more intricate or formal ones in other articles.

The Basic Setting - keeping it simple:

What you need:

• Dinner plate
• Glass - water glass and if serving wine or beer those glasses too
• Fork
• Knife
• Soup spoon - if you have soup
• Coffee spoon or desert spoon and fork - if you're serving coffee and/or desert
• Napkin
• Place mats or tablecloth - if you'd like
• A simple centrepiece

How to set the table:

Place mats or tablecloths always add to a table setting. If your dishes are patterned then you may want to go for a solid colour so that it doesn't clash. If using a tablecloth make sure that it's hanging evenly all around, and not dragging on the floor. For placemats they should be a half inch in from the edge of your table.

Place the dinner plates one inch from the edge of the table. If there is a pattern in the middle of the plate, make sure that it is right side up (e.g., flowers at the top with stems facing towards the chair). Place the knife on the right side of the plate, blade inward, one inch from the edge of the table, handle end of knife at the bottom. Make sure the knife is next to the plate, not underneath the plate.

If you're serving soup, the soupspoon is placed next to the knife, also one inch from the bottom of the table. The bowl of the spoon always faces up.

The fork is place on the left side of the dinner plate one inch from the edge of the table, making sure it is also next to the plate verses underneath the plate. Once again the tines of the fork face up. If you're serving coffee or desert, the forks and spoons are placed at the top of the plate, tines and bowls up. The desert spoon is set closest to the plate, then desert fork then coffee spoon.

The napkin is folded in half and placed next to the fork with the crease farthest away from the fork. The glass is placed directly above the knife approximately one inch. And, the lip of the glass is up, not down, as you would store it on a shelf. If you're serving beer then the beer glass replaces the water glass, and if you're also serving wine then that glass is closest to plate with the water glass beside it. Always go from smallest closer to larger further away.

A simple centrepiece is a wonderful finishing touch. You could even place salt and pepper shakers on a nice plate or tray with some fresh flowers around it - blooms only please. If it's a kinky dinner, why not ask the dominant to choose his/her favourite toy and have that as your centrepiece? Say, curl a whip around the salt and pepper? Or the lashes of a flogger? Whatever you do - have fun with it!

Formal Dining part 2: Planning