D/S LIFESTYLE

Though the focus of the first article was on how to set the table, even more important is the planning. Hosting a formal dinner party is fun. Hosting a successful party is a pat on the back and it all comes down to planning.

Planning a formal dinner party takes time. First look at what space you have available - this will determine how many guests you can invite. You need to decide who will sit at the table, for example, will submissives be seated beside their dominants? Will they eat at the same time? Who will be serving the food? An important part of planning is where to 'seat' people and keeping the conversation flowing.

If you decide that only dominants will sit at the table, then I'd suggest having the submissives seated to the side and slightly behind their dominants. Some may prefer to have the submissives standing or kneeling. The choice is your's - just remember if you alone are serving you have to be able to get around the table! And, of course, if the submissives are terribly uncomfortable throughout what could be a long meal it won't make it a pleasurable event. (We'll talk about serving in a future article.)

If your table comfortably seats 8, then only invite 8 people. Even if the submissives aren't sitting at the table this gives the dominants room and you too. Remember you need to have room to serve without blocking the dominant, or bumping into them or chairs or items on the table!

I'd also suggest that the host dominant have an idea of some possible topics for discussion to get the table talking. Your dominant may want you to put together a list of topics and have it tucked into his, or her, napkin or somewhere else where they have easy access to it.

It is very important as well to plan your menu. Talk with the other submissives and find out their dominant's likes, dislikes as well as allergies and plan your menu from there. We also prepare a menu and send it to the submissives before finalizing it.

Typically, at a formal dinner you would separate couples so that they talk to other guests, but that wouldn't work in the D/s environment. I'd suggest seating two dominants who haven't met before, or don't know each other well near each other, or across from each other. Just make sure that they are people who have something in common and will get along with each other. And, make sure they're both people who aren't shy or afraid to start up a conversation!

Though I mention 'couples' here, you may choose to invite a single dominant and a single submissive that will serve the dominant. Couples are simply any dominant and submissive.

The bottom line - make sure your guests feel comfortable and relaxed. If you're harried or running around like a chicken with your head cut off it will destroy the mood that you've worked so hard for. Plan ahead and prepare what you can ahead of time, so you'll feel relaxed and at ease.

• Plan and prepare what you can ahead of time
• Take a nap, a bath or whatever helps you relax before your guests arrive
• Plan to have an hour to check every detail at least an hour before the guests get there
• Use place cards at the table so that people know where to sit
• Have extra plates, napkins, etc., nearby in case they're needed
• Make extra food so that second helpings can be served if requested
• Have a 'cheat sheet' of conversation topics on hand
• Plan for 'problems' and you'll be able to avoid them

If you plan your dinner well, you should have a party that people will be glad they came for and hope the get an invitation to come back to your next one!

Formal Dining part 3: Napkins and Wine Glass